


Forgotten, but not Gone

by Teneniel



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Amnesia, Angst with a Happy Ending, Exploration of sexuality, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Pining, canonverse, graphic retelling of injury
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-21
Updated: 2018-09-11
Packaged: 2019-06-13 13:18:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15365523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Teneniel/pseuds/Teneniel
Summary: An unexpectedly difficult fight leads to Prompto losing a large chunk of his recent memory. When the dust settles, Prompto begins to suspect he's forgotten more than everyone's leading him to believe.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A huge thank you to my betas @SongOfMarbule and @sayura21
> 
> And much love to the Promnis Connection gang for encouraging me to get onto my butt and write some more!
> 
> Note: rating may increase with later chapters

Prompto was already standing when he came back to himself, the now-familiar surge of synthetic adrenaline kicking him into action before his brain had fully caught up.

 

_Another death, defied, I guess._

 

He blinked, and the room slowly came into focus, one sense at a time. The first thing he noticed was that it was fairly quiet. There were no sounds of a skirmish or epic battle, so the fight must have ended. From some distance away, he recognized the heavy pants of Gladio and Ignis, who seemed to be just recovering. The warm steadying hand on his shoulder had to be Noct, then. He turned his head and put on a smile that felt a little too bright. “Guess that’s another one for me, huh?” He laughed shakily. “Sorry about that, man.”

 

Noct’s face was pinched with worry, his eyes searching. “You feel okay? It took us a while to get to you that time.”

 

“Yeah man, I…” but the room lurched sideways and he stumbled. With Noct’s guidance, he sat down, hard. There were black spots in front of his vision and he dropped his head between his knees. “Just need a sec.” He tried to keep his tone light.

 

Careful footsteps approached, Ignis’, he knew. “Are you alright?” His tone was soft, concerned. Prompto could feel the edges of panic seeping in. The last thing he wanted was to be the problem. Again.

 

He waved them off. “Totally good. Just need a minute. I think I forgot to drink enough water, is all.”

 

Their silence seemed to say he wasn’t being very convincing.

 

Gladio’s heavy footsteps came next. “Hey, we gotta get out of here. You need a lift?”

 

Prompto shook his head. He took a steadying breath and moved to rise. Both Noct and Ignis helped him up. Ignis kept hold of his arm while Noctis pulled away. “It’s alright. I’ve got you,” Ignis said softly.

 

He fought down a wave of vertigo-induced nausea and let himself be guided a few careful steps forward. He looked around and felt his brows pinch. “Huh.” he said.

 

“What’s that?” Ignis asked, still supporting him.

 

It was fairly dark, but he could see clearly enough to tell that they were deep underground. The walls were smooth and blockish, with ladders leading up to smaller ledges far above. Strings of electric lanterns lent their dull glow, which cast eerie shadows across the faces of the walls.

 

“I just…” He looked up and stumbled again, but caught himself quickly. Ignis moved in closer and slipped his arm around his back.

 

“Perhaps we should rest a bit more.”

“We need to clear out,” Gladio said. “This place is nothing but unpleasant surprises.”

 

“Agreed,” Noct said.

 

Ignis sighed but nodded. “Very well.” He looked to Prompto, concern etched on his features. “Do you think you can make it up the ladders?”

 

Prompto glanced at the far wall. The first wasn’t much of a climb, and he felt confident he could push through. His eyes traced along the ledge to the second ladder, another short climb. He nodded firmly, pushing back the anxiety that he was holding them all up. “Yeah. I got this.”

 

Carefully, they made their way up, stopping briefly on a ledge while Noct and Gladio squeezed through a hidden passage and came out one royal arm richer. They climbed again and continued on until they entered a tunnel with tracks laid down the middle of it. An empty cart sat stationary in front of them. “We’re in a mine?” He asked. “Like, something out of a frontier movie!” He tried for light laughter, but what came out was shaky at best.

 

The entire group stopped and turned to face him, expressions unreadable.

 

“Prompto what the hell.” Gladio squinted at him, as if trying to figure out if he was joking.

 

“Dude. You said that when we first came in.” Noct said.

 

“I did?” He looked around, searching his foggy brain for any scrap of memory of this place. But there was none. None of it was familiar. Not the chamber below, not the mine tunnel, nothing. He had no memory of how he’d got here.

 

Iggy’s grip on Prompto tightened. “I think we’d better get to a hotel tonight.”

 

“No arguments here,” Gladio said, flicking one last glance at Prompto’s face before he turned and led the way out.

 

They made their way up and up, through tunnels and over rugged stairs, until they finally reached an elevator that had clearly seen several decades of use. “Uhhhh, not to be the whiny claustrophobic one, but is this thing...safe?”

 

“It was safe enough to get us down here,” Noct replied, giving him another sidelong look.

 

“Damn.” Prompto whispered. The confusion and vertigo hit him anew. As they ascended in the rickety elevator, the effects of the Phoenix Down began to wear off. He felt suddenly exhausted, and was grateful to have someone supporting him. He leaned against Ignis and chewed on his lip.

 

“Prompto, do you not remember our trip through these mines?” He asked in a low voice.

 

Prompto shook his head.

 

“None of it?”

 

He shook his head again. “No. How long were we down here?”

 

“Hours,” Gladio replied. “Fighting that Aramusha alone was a marathon. And that was after getting lost. Repeatedly,” he said with a pointed look at Noct.

 

“Next time, you lead then,” Noct said petulantly.

 

“I ain’t the one on a quest to rob my dead grandparents’ graves,” Gladio quipped.

 

Ignis sucked in a quick breath. “Can we please keep the bickering to a minimum?” he snapped. “We’re all tired and worse for wear. Some more than others.”

 

Prompto felt his cheeks heat up. Of course he’d meant him. It was always him. He should have been dead a dozen times over by now, but they kept using expensive magic on him and he kept getting right back up to die another day.

 

They stepped out, Prompto blinking into the late afternoon desert sun. He looked around, searching for anything familiar and finding nothing. The path wound through broken buildings and down a short dirt road to where the Regalia was parked right next to a haven. All of their camping equipment was there, set up as if they’d stayed the night before.

 

“Things looking familiar now?” Ignis asked. He’d loosened his grip on Prompto’s waist once the rugged path gave way to smooth road, but he still kept a hand on his back, ready to catch him in the event he stumbled over his own boots.

 

Prompto swallowed and shook his head. “I mean, we obviously camped here, but I don’t remember it.” He looked around again. “I don’t even recognize any of this.”

 

Noct pointed down the hill. “How about that?”

 

Prompto peered in the direction indicated, squinting and shielding his eyes with one hand. A flicker of recognition hit him. “Oh! Yeah I see now. That’s Longwythe. Phew okay. We were totally just there!”

 

The group seemed to relax at that, and Gladio grunted, grinning. “Yeah, and after we turn in this hunt we can grab a room there again and rest up. Hopefully your eggs won’t be so scrambled in the morning, huh?”

 

Heartened at the sense of solid mental ground again, Prompto laughed loudly and hopped away from Ignis. “Sure hope not. Scrambled eggs are gross. Runny and practically raw is the only way to go!”

 

Noct made gagging noises and Prompto bumped shoulders with him, only stumbling a little bit more than usual.

 

Things felt much better as they all sat in their usual seats, Ignis at the wheel for the short trip down the hill. He started up the car and called out an “all set?” then shifted into gear as everyone grunted out an affirmative. Prompto stretched out his arms and sighed. Now that he was sitting, the exhaustion hit him again full force and he hummed. “Looking forward to a soft bed.”

 

“Indeed,” Ignis agreed, and glanced over at him with a soft smile. He took one hand off the wheel and held it out toward Prompto, who blinked at it for a sec and then grinned and gave him five before settling his hand against the seat and letting his eyes slip closed. The dessert breeze felt amazing after the stale air of that creepy-ass mine, and the temperature was perfect. The drive to Longwythe couldn’t have been more than ten minutes, but he found himself fighting sleep the whole way.

 

He also found himself being shaken awake by Gladio, surprised that he’d really fallen asleep quickly and deeply enough to not feel the car stop or hear everyone get out, but the big guy was nice enough to help him to his feet and half drag him to their room. By the time he got there, leaning on Gladdy, who had both of their bags on his other arm, Noct was sprawled out on one of the beds and Ignis was already in the shower.

 

He stumbled over and flopped face down next to Noct, letting his boots hang off the end of the bed. He’d get to them. Eventually.

 

“What are you doing, man?” Noct asked, nudging him with his knee toward the edge of the bed.

 

Prompto groaned and sat up to take his boots off. “I know, I know. I probably stink. But there’s no way I can stand up for a whole shower right now. I’ll shower in the morning. I’ve dealt with your stank ass breath plenty of times.”

 

He ignored the affronted “Hey!” then stripped down to his tank and boxers and sunk under the covers as quickly as possible. As his eyes slowly blinked closed, he caught sight of a familiar carving on the side of the night stand and giggled.

 

“Hey Noct, that dick carving is still here. We must have the same room we had a couple nights ago. It continues to haunt me at eye level! Go away, Nightstand Dick!”

 

His joke was met with silence, which was unexpected, so he turned over to annoy his buddy - exhaustion be damned - only to be met with open mouthed staring, which was...weird. “Dude. What?”

 

Noct glanced at Gladio and something...worrying seemed to pass between them. Then he looked back at Prompto.

 

“What?” Prompto repeated, a little more alert this time. He sat up. “Dude what is going on?”

 

“Prompto...we weren’t here a couple days ago.” Noct said, a frown creasing his brow as he searched Prompto’s face.

 

He laughed nervously. “Yeah we were, right? We had our little bro talk heart to heart on the roof. Don’t tell me you don’t remember that, dude. I’ll be hurt and you’ll owe me big time.” He laughed again, and it sounded forced even to his own ears. How could Noct have forgotten that? Even he wasn’t that aloof.

 

“Prompto…” he said slowly, and behind him he heard Gladio murmur “Shit” under his breath. He was starting to get genuinely worried now. Either they were playing some long con prank on him, which was unlikely given the situation, or something super weird was going on. The evidence was pointing to the latter, along with the strange tingling sensation at the base of his neck that he usually referred to as his Spidey Sense for Awkward Situations. Prompto swallowed and shifted so he could  look between Noctis and Gladio, silently begging them for...something. Anything.

 

Noct took a deep breath, looking nervous. “Prompto, that stay here, where we talked? That was weeks ago.”

 

The next several minutes passed in a haze of vertigo. Prompto was sitting on the edge of the bed, head between his knees and fighting off the urge to just sink into blissful unconsciousness. Noct was pressed next to him, patting his back awkwardly and murmuring some nonsensical encouragements. At some point he was vaguely aware of more voices asking questions, then some raised voices, then quiet again.

 

There was a buzzing in his ears, which he hadn’t noticed until it started to recede. Cautiously, he brought his head up and looked around. Noct was still at his side, arm wrapped over his shoulders. He gave a squeeze. “Hey. Y’okay man?”

 

Prompto had every intention to reply with his standard “Yeah, man, all good here,” but when he opened his mouth, no sound came out and he shut it again, biting his lip.

 

“It’s okay Prompto. It’s just us in here for now.”

 

Somehow that made him feel a lot better and he let out a shaky breath. “Thanks.” He breathed.

 

“Here, lie down. Maybe you just need sleep. Ignis said you don’t have to answer any questions until you get some sleep.” Noct guided him down to his pillow and he sunk into it gratefully. He was vaguely aware of Noct saying something else as he brought the blankets up around his shoulders, but Prompto was already slipping into a deep dreamless sleep.

 

When he awoke, his head was absolutely pounding. He sat up and looked around. Everyone was already up and showered, and all eyes locked on him as he blinked away the sleep. “Time is it?” He mumbled, rubbing at his eyes. Then he groaned. “Ugh, my head.”

 

“It’s quite late,” Ignis answered quietly. “You’re probably dehydrated.” He walked over and sat on the other bed, facing Prompto and holding out a bottle of water. “Here, see if you can drink this.”

 

Prompto mumbled a thanks and took the water. He cracked it open and downed it in record time without even taking a breath. Wow, he really was thirsty. He put the cap back on and set the empty bottle on the nightstand, not really making eye contact with anyone. He had a feeling what came next was gonna suck in a wrong-kind-of-attention way.

 

The room was shrouded in a tense silence. He had the feeling everyone was waiting for him to say or do something, but he had no idea what. The events of the day before were all crystal clear in his mind, along with everything before their previous stay in Longwythe, which he could swear was just a day or two prior. But according to Noct last night, there was a huge chunk of time just...missing from his brain. Talk about unsettling feelings.

 

“Prompto?” Ignis said softly.

 

Prompto winced. He knew they had to talk about this. To figure out what happened, how to fix it. What it meant going forward. It was just...couldn't they just move on? He didn’t want to hold everyone up for another day. Along the way, they’d all had bad injuries, been shaken up, stricken with grief or any number of things that would stop anyone in their tracks. And they always just kept moving, pushing on. That’s all Prompto wanted to do today. But it seemed like everyone else needed him to talk about it first. Okay. This was fine. He’d talk it out and then they’d be able to just...march on.

 

He sucked in a breath and looked up. Ignis was looking at him with...ugh, probably the kindest most concerned expression he’d ever seen. Unfortunately for Prompto, that sort of thing was exactly what broke the thin barrier of normalcy he was holding together. He felt his face crumple and he let the breath out loudly. “It’s a little bit of a trip, that's all, ya know?” His voice came out all warbly and small. Ugh.

 

“So, you still don’t remember the last few weeks?” Noct asked, and Prompto shook his head.

 

“Perhaps we should let him shower and get something to eat before we sort this out,” Ignis suggested. Honestly, a shower sounded pretty great, so Prompto agreed and pushed himself off the bed. He felt a lot more stable than he had last night, so that was a good sign. He hoped.

 

Once the bathroom door was closed, he finally relaxed. Quickly he turned on the shower and brushed his teeth while the water warmed up, then stripped down and stepped into the hot water. _Ahhh, good ol’ dissociation time,_ he thought, and stood there letting the sensations wash over him, not thinking of anything. Closing his eyes, the only thing that mattered was the rhythmic beat of the water against his neck, the trickle as it laid trails down his back and torso, and the meaningless constant noise of active pipes. It was the sweet sweet relief he’d needed.

 

Eventually, the water ran colder and colder. He shivered and kicked into high gear, finally washing himself. He then switched off the shower and dried off, still avoiding too much _thinking,_ and stepped out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist. His clothes were clean and folded at the end of his bed, so he quickly dressed as everyone poked around on their phones. Ignis pointed him towards a muffin and a steaming cup of coffee on the small table, so he sat down at the single chair there and dug in. Turns out, he was famished, and he made short work of the ill-fated pastry. _RIP muffin, you were a good muffin._

 

“Feeling better?” Ignis asked.

 

“Yeah, lots,” Prompto replied genuinely. “I was pretty tired and hungry. Probably pretty stinky too.” He glanced at Noct, smiling and waiting for the inevitable dig he’d set himself up for, but it never came. Well. It was still gonna be like that, eh? Nevertheless, he tried a weak laugh and then sat up straighter. “Okay,” He said. “I’m ready. Hit me with your questions.”

 

They took turns quizzing him on what he remembered, asking about certain events and if he could recall them. Ignis had him go through some memory exercises to see if it jogged anything, but at the end of nearly an hour, Prompto was no closer to remembering anything between yesterday and their previous stay in this very room.

 

Finally, they all took a break. Prompto had been pacing and fidgeting, but he sat down heavily on the edge of a bed and sighed. He bit his lip, thinking for a moment. “So um, do you guys have any idea why this would have happened? You said I never really hit my head, right? I was just...um...stabbed a lot.”

 

Ignis nodded. “We think there was some sort of stacking effect from a particular function of the Phoenix Downs.”

 

Okay. What did that mean?

 

Noct seemed to notice Prompto’s confusion. “So, you know how you never remember how you...well...die?” He waited for Prompto to nod and then went on, “Well, that’s intentional. Originally there was a lot of post-traumatic stress coming from their usage. Which is arguably better than the alternative, but sometimes it got so bad that it...wasn’t. If that makes sense. Anyway, so now there’s an element of amnesiac woven into them. So if all goes well, and it usually does, you don’t remember the moments just before you fall and right after you come back up. That’s why there’s just a few seconds of confusion before the adrenaline boost kicks in and you feel ready to take on anything. But you never remember any of the confusing parts. It’s a neat trick, really. And kind of cool how they figured it out…”

Ignis cleared his throat, interrupting what would have been an epic Noct magic-science nerd out session. Prompto shot him a grateful smile.

 

Gladio bumped shoulders with Noct a little harder than strictly necessary, if the stinkeye he got in return was any indication. “What his dorkness is saying, is that using so many back-to-back, followed by a long downtime and then another usage may have short circuited something and caused a bigger blackout than usual.”

 

Prompto bit his lip. It made sense, and he had definitely noticed that he never remembered how he’d fallen or gotten back up. He considered himself somewhat of a connoisseur of Phoenix Down usage over the last few months, since he was the one who seemed to need one every other damn day. Okay so maybe that was an exaggeration, but still. He hesitated before speaking, almost afraid to ask the next question. “How…” his voice cracked and he cleared his throat and tried again. “How many times did I...did you have to use one? A, um...a Phoenix?”

 

For a beat, nobody answered. He couldn’t really blame them. Who’d want to be the bearer of that kind of news? It was Gladio who finally spoke up, his voice soft but matter-of-fact. “All told, we used six on you.”

 

“Six,” he whispered. Everyone let that sink in for a second before Noct spoke up next.

 

“To be fair, we all needed at least one. That place was troll level, man. Every other creature in there was easy to cut down and then this guy shows up. We couldn’t leave. We couldn’t get up the ladders because he’d suddenly be right there, skewering through one of us. There was no choice but to throw everything into it and fight until we finally wore him down.” Noct sighed and leaned back onto his hands. “It _sucked._ And at the end…” he trailed off and looked away.

 

Ignis cleared his throat. “At the end of the fight, you’d been isolated in one corner, attempting to keep your distance, as is the strategy we had discussed. The rest of us were across the chamber, keeping its attention. But then, it all happened so quickly. Suddenly the daemon was there by your side, then just as quickly back to our group. When we looked up, you’d gone down again. I was the next to fall, but because I was close to the others they were able to revive me quickly. When I came to, I saw you there and I...I tried to get to you but…”

 

“The thing was on its last legs,” Gladio interrupted. “I told Iggy to stay put until it was dead.”

 

Prompto glanced up at Ignis, who seemed to be struggling under a weight of guilt, so he nudged him with his foot. “It’s okay Igster. That was the right call.”

 

Ignis looked up and gave him a tight smile and nodded. “I suppose so.”

 

“So yeah,” Noct continued, “That last push lasted a lot longer than any of us thought it would. As soon as I saw Gladio wind up for the killing blow I warped over to you as fast as I could.” He cleared his throat and his voice came out thicker than normal. “You popped right up. I was so relieved.”

 

Prompto took a shaky breath in and out in the ensuing silence. “I’m…”

 

“If you apologize, I swear to the Six Prompto…” Noct’s tone brokered no argument so Prompto gave a brittle laugh instead.

 

“Okay. Well then. Thanks, guys. A lot. I mean it.” He looked up and found three faces looking at him earnestly.

 

“We’d have done the same for any of us, and you know it. And it really _could_ have been any of us Prompto, this thing was way above our pay grade.” Gladio said. The others hummed their agreement.

 

It didn’t stop the intrusive little asshole voice in Prompto’s head, but he knew his friends loved him and so he decided to tell that voice to STFU. He nodded, took a deep breath, and clapped his hands together. “Okay. Well, now that that’s all out there, what’d I miss over the last...how long was it?”

 

“Twenty seven days, best we can figure,” Ignis said.

 

Prompto whistled. “Damn. Okay. Well what did I miss over the last twenty seven days then? I didn’t miss Altissia, did I?” He laughed at his own super lame joke, but his smile faltered at the awkward looks everyone was giving each other. Finally they all looked to Ignis, so Prompto did the same.

 

Ignis pushed up his glasses and crossed his arms. “Two weapons found and one more mobile Imperial base taken down. You’d also learned a new technique using two pistols, which I imagine you’ll need to practice again. Iris and Talcott are still safely at Caem, and the boat is nearly seaworthy. We’re waiting for Cid’s call, but Noct is eager to collect all the weapons in Lucis before seeking out Leviathan’s blessing.”

 

Prompto bobbed his head along with Iggy’s description, brightening considerably. “Well, that’s not so bad then, right? I didn’t miss too much important stuff. I’m sure I can pick up my end of it, no problem!” He looked from face to face eagerly, but everyone still seemed uneasy. “It’s...weird, having such a big chunk of time erased, but I do feel a lot better. I promise, guys, I’ll do better in the future.”

 

Gladio’s big hand startled him when it landed on his shoulder. “You’re doing just fine, little guy. I mean it, okay?” He squeezed, and Prompto nodded, smiling. Still he couldn’t shake the sense that there was something very important that he was missing.


	2. Chapter 2

Something was definitely weird. 

In combat, everything was as usual. They worked great as a team and looked out for each other, and the banter was still solid. But once the downtime hit, things got awkward. Nobody really talked much at camp or in the hotels. It seemed like everyone was on edge. It was either way too formal, or way too quiet for Prompto’s liking. The only times he got a reprieve were when he decided to drag Noct out for pictures or drinks or ice cream, which Noct agreed to way more willingly than usual.

And then there was the matter of their inexplicable detours. During the entirety of their trip, Ignis had consistently deferred to Noct, even when he clearly had an idea of what would be the best course of action. Now though, Ignis seemed to be making a lot of the calls - everything from mundane shopping stops, to overriding Noct’s plans outright to take circuitous routes and make seemingly needless stops. It was confusing even to Prompto, who generally didn’t pay much attention to long term plans and was content to be along for the ride. In fact, there was one day they’d picked up four hunts in an area. Ignis had suggested a route to take, which seemed to include a lot more backtracking than necessary. Prompto pointed this out and suggested a more direct route to hit them all in a short time, but Ignis was in quick with some sort of hand waving and circular logic and Prompto eventually just backed down. Weirdly, nobody else said a thing about it.

After a solid ten days of this, Prompto resolved to bring it up to Noct.

He got the opportunity that night at a haven at the north end of Alstor Slough. Noct had grumped at Ignis for having to camp, arguing that they would have made it to Lestallum if they hadn’t stopped at the chocobo ranch that morning. Instead they were camping one more night, and Noct was having a royal tantrum at the edge of the haven, throwing lose stones over the edge. As soon as the tent and stove were up, Prompto casually walked up and sat down next to the sulking form of the Prince.

“At least it’s a pretty night, eh?”

Noct made a noncommittal noise and threw another pebble. “Would be a good night for drinks outside and sleeping in an air conditioned room.”

“Yeah. I’m with you there.” Prompto watched the evening sun dip low, conscious of his friend’s gaze briefly on his face. He supposed now was as good a time as ever. “Things have been weird,” he said quietly.

Noct didn’t answer right away, but he stopped throwing pebbles. Finally he heaved a tired sigh and said, “Yeah.”

Prompto leaned back on his hands and looked over at Noct’s profile. “Did something happen while I was...during the time I don’t remember? Ignis...he’s calling a lot of the shots now. Are you okay buddy?”

“Me? I’m fine. Well, not really, but it isn’t me. It’s just…” Noct trailed off, looking frustrated. “Ignis is being an idiot.”

That wasn’t what Prompto expected to hear. “Ignis?” he whispered. “What’s he doing? He seems mostly normal to me.”

Noct opened his palm and let the remaining pebbles tumble out over the edge of the haven. His face was etched with fatigue. “He’s been making us drive around, the same route we had before. It’s so obvious but he’s trying to play it off. I think he’s trying to jog your memory.”

“Huh.” Prompto frowned. It was a nice thought, trying to help Prompto remember, but what was the point? He’d been brought up to speed, and he was already practicing the double gun technique he’d forgotten before. “Why’s he so concerned about it? I thought we were all up to date?”

Noct closed his eyes. He looked like he was fighting some internal battle for a few moments. Eventually, his face scrunched up and he opened his eyes, looking at Prompto with a firm set in his jaw. “The time you lost, it included the whole time you guys were...together.”

Prompto squinted in confusion.  _ Together?  _ They’d all been a team for a while now. Ever since Prompto got sworn in. He’d known Ignis way longer than that. Like, at least four or five years? Prompto’s internal struggle must have shown because Noct rolled his eyes and sighed.

“ _ Together  _ together.”

“What??” Prompto shout-whispered. He glanced around the campsite, but the other two weren’t paying any attention to them. Ignis was cooking, Gladio was just getting into his nightly workout. He turned back to Noct. “Like...a couple??”

“Yeah,” Noct said morosely. “Like that.” He gathered his knees into his arms and rested his head there. “Ever since the mines, he’s been trying to be okay. He told us not to tell you, but it’s clear he’s  _ not _ okay. He’s been basically trying to recreate the whole week before you guys ended up getting together. It’s really uncomfortable. Plus Gladio and I kinda think it’s a dick move to keep it from you, honestly. But Iggy asked, so we kept it a secret.” He shrugged. “I’m sick of all this. It’s shitty and it’s making things awkward.”

Prompto struggled to process what Noct had just told him. “What the fuck,” he whispered.

“Yeah I dunno. It happened one day after a fight and then you two were attached at the hip after. It would have been cute if it wasn’t so gross.”

He was aware of the teasing tone in Noct’s voice, but Prompto was still too shocked to react. He just sat, stunned, watching Noct.

Noct’s half smirk fell. “Look man, you guys really did seem happy. It’s been torture watching Iggy pretend not to be bummed, and you be totally clueless.”

“But...I’m not into guys,” Prompto said, because it was what came out of his mouth while he tried - and failed - to process any of this.

Noct rolled his eyes. “Yeah. You said that before. Only that time you had a massive hickey on your neck.” He stood up and stretched. “Somehow it’s even less convincing now.”

Unbidden, Prompto’s hand reached up to brush the juncture of his neck and shoulder, the ghost of a memory of a tender bruising sensation there and gone in an instant.

But, no. He was probably just making it up. Prompto was the kind of guy who’d  _ feel _ twinges of the injuries people described. When he thought on it, he couldn’t recall the sensation he’d just felt. He dropped his hand into his lap, then stared out across the twilit landscape.

He sat alone until the sky turned from golden to lavender, Noct having gone to sit next to the fire. It all seemed so implausible, no matter how he looked at it. Noct wouldn’t bullshit him about something this big, would he? He’d seemed genuine.  _ Well, two ways to find out. Head on, talking to Ignis, or the coward’s way, confirming with Gladio. _

He found Gladio in the thick of his workout, doing burpees behind the tent. Which, not Prompto’s fave if anyone asked, but this was important enough to suffer through burpees or even the dreaded  _ mountain climbers _ . He suppressed a shudder at the thought and skipped up to start stretching. It wasn’t necessarily uncommon for him to join in on Gladio’s evening self-torture sessions, and Gladio gave him a nod and grunt as he finished out his set.

They made it through jump squats, diamond pushups, and a whole round of planks. Prompto was sweating and breathing heavily, but still hadn’t figured out how to broach the subject of his alleged relationship with Iggy. When Gladio moved to his back to start bicycle crunches, Prompto bit the bullet and went for a lighthearted segue.

“So uh,” he began, huffing a bit with every crunch up, “Noct pulled a good one on me today.” 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Prompto laugh-grunted as he breathed out his story between crunches, “Told me I was...dating Ignis for...basically the...whole time I...can’t remember.”

Gladio stopped his crunches and flopped onto his back with his knees up, breathing heavily for a few beats. “He told you that, huh?”

Prompto stopped too and splayed out gracelessly, panting. “Yeah. Funny right?” He struggled with himself for a few moments before turning his head to look at Gladio, who was watching him carefully. The light joke he had queued up died and he bit his lip. “It’s…is it true?”

Gladio said nothing for a moment, just watching him with a depth in his gaze that Prompto recognized as his  _ Dealing With Big Feelings _ look. Finally he flipped over and started doing standard push ups, probably his cool down. “You should talk to Iggy,” was all he said, barely sounding out of breath.

“Shit,” he whispered, flopping an arm over his face.

So, it  _ was _ true.  _ Shit. Shit shit shit. _ What a mess. His mind started to rewind the past ten or so days, but he immediately ran into so many blatantly obvious and painfully awkward cues that he’d - at the time - been oblivious to, that he’d shut it down right away.

“Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiit,” he groaned.

“Yup,” was all Gladio said.

_ Thanks, big guy. Good talk. _

Dinner was yet another quiet and awkward affair. Noct sat staring sullenly into the fire, while Gladio attacked his food with entirely too much interest to be genuine. Prompto made a few attempts at opening the door to light hearted banter, but nobody really took the bait. Even Ignis was quiet and introspective, barely giving two word answers anytime someone spoke. When Ignis collected the dishes, Gladio and Noct headed into the tent to play a half hearted hand of cards. Prompto figured this was his only chance, so reluctantly he heaved himself out of his chair and dragged his feet over to the kitchen setup. 

“Heya, Iggy,” Prompto said. He could hear fatigue in his own voice, but in this case he supposed it was better than his customary explosive cheer.

“Good evening, Prompto,” Ignis replied, no hint of any sadness or hard feelings in his tone. Just a normal friendly greeting. How did he  _ do  _ that?? 

Prompto sidled up across the cooktop where Ignis was scrubbing dishes in a pot of warm soapy water. “Let me help with those, yeah?” 

“My thanks,” Ignis said, handing him the dish towel.

They worked in an easy silence, Ignis washing and rinsing, Prompto drying and carefully stacking.

After a few moments, Ignis spoke quietly. “Something on your mind?”

He wasn’t even surprised, really. Ignis was always pretty intuitive. He sighed and nodded. “I, uh, found out...about us today. I just wanted...I’m not even sure. I guess I want to check in?” He looked up to find Ignis frozen in the act of rising a dish, looking intently at the pot of water. “Maybe, if it’s okay, ask some questions?”

There were a few beats before Ignis moved again. He sighed heavily. “They told you, did they?”

“Yeah.” Prompto didn’t bother denying it.

Ignis dried his hands and pushed up his glasses, still not looking at him. “I’m sorry, Prompto. I didn’t want the burden of that knowledge on you when you’d already endured so much.”

Prompto hummed thoughtfully. “I get it, but I kinda feel like, that wasn’t really your call? I mean. Not...I dunno. It probably wasn’t...” He trailed off, struggling to have a direct conversation with someone who’d intimidated him until pretty recently.

“It wasn’t my place to unilaterally decide? Yes, so I’ve been told.” 

“I mean, I think you’d want to know. In my place.”

Ignis stepped back and crossed his arms, finally looking Prompto in the eye. “You’re right. In your place, I would most definitely want to know.” He sighed. “Perhaps they were right after all. I...I apologize Prompto.” He cleared his throat. “I admit that I had my own selfish reasons for not wanting anyone to tell you as well.”

Prompto’s brow furrowed. “Huh? Why’s that?”

For the first time that Prompto could ever remember, Ignis looked straight up  _ embarrassed. _ Not just in that staving off awkwardness, nervous tick kind of way. He was actually blushing, his gaze flicked to the side, and there was a tightness at the corners of his eyes for a moment before he closed them and exhaled heavily. “Suffice it to say, I didn’t want you to feel...obligated to continue our relationship simply because it existed before.”

Prompto turned that over in his mind before commenting. He supposed it was a legit concern, given his history of being the peacekeeper. But would he go as far as to pretend a relationship that he didn’t feel? He didn’t think so. That would be pretty damn unfair to Ignis, not to mention himself. He wasn’t  _ that  _ self-deprecating.

“Iggy, I wouldn’t do that to you.” He waited until Ignis was looking at him again before he continued. “You deserve way better than that, dude. I promise complete honesty about anything between us, okay?” He didn’t ask for the same, but he hoped it was obvious that he was asking for the same.

“Thank you Prompto. I ought to have trusted that to begin with. I must admit to my own insecurities surrounding, ah, romantic entanglements. Regardless, I offer you the same. You do deserve to know what transpired between us. Though, if I may suggest a more private setting for the conversation?”

It took Prompto a second to realize what Ignis meant. “Oh! You mean, now? Like. Right now?”

A smile played at the corner of Ignis’ mouth. “I don’t see why not. It’s early enough and we’re close to a diner. I sincerely doubt it’ll be full at this time of the evening.”

A quick rush of nerves turned his stomach. Was this meant to be a date? Should he play it off or should he ask? No. Why was he thinking like this? Ignis used the past tense for whatever had happened between them. All the same, he didn’t want to lead Iggy on. “Okay. But, I feel like I should come right out and say this is all kind of a shock and um…I don’t…”

Ignis caught on right away and saved him from himself. “I understand, Prompto. There’s no expectation here. We’re only bringing you fully up to speed on the last month. As I should have done to begin with.”

That did help Prompto feel better. So, after quickly finishing the evening chores and informing the others of their little side trip, they hopped on chocobo-back and sprinted up the hill to settle into the back booth of the diner. Both ordered coffee and water, then made light small talk until their orders were delivered. Prompto added generous amounts of sugar and cream to his cup, then took a tentative sip before clearing his throat and setting down his cup.

“Well, I guess the obvious place to start is...the beginning? Like, when and how did we, uh,” he made a twining motion with his fingers, “get together?”

Ignis nodded and sat back, his hands folded on the table before him. “It wasn’t long after that stay in Longwythe. We’d made our way back to the Vesperpool, so it had to have been the better part of a week of travel and hunting. We picked up several daemon hunts from Meldacio and decided to do three on one night. Unfortunately, the last one went a bit awry.” He closed his eyes and breathed in deeply through his nose. “I got hit with some sort of magic. I remember everything about that part vividly, including the intense fear and confusion I felt at the time. I’d run back to where you were positioned, shooting light flares and taking shots where you could. Then you turned to me…” he hesitated, then opened his eyes to watch his own hands fidget on the tabletop. “Looking back, you must have smiled at me. However, at the time, I remember seeing your face as some sort of grotesque possession, all sharp teeth and malevolent intent. I panicked and slashed out with my daggers, looking for any exposed skin…”

Having battled beside Ignis for the better part of a year in training and in the field, Prompto knew just how deadly accurate and lightning fast he was with those daggers. Daggers that he sharpened to a fine point every single night before they slept.

“Hey Iggy, it’s okay if you want to stop. And, you know I would never hold you responsible for anything that happens when you’re not yourself.”

Ignis shook his head and sat up, flashing Prompto a small smile. “I know. And had it been the reverse, I’d of course think the same. It’s...a difficult memory to re-live, certainly. But as I said, I’m happy to answer these questions.”

Prompto resisted the urge to reach across the table and lay his hand on Ignis’. The last thing the poor guy needed now was confusing signals. He settled for a genuine, “Thanks, Iggy,” instead.

After another calming breath, Ignis continued. “As it turned out, the exposed skin I found was across your abdomen, just under your navel. In the appropriate circumstances, I suppose it would have been a commendable strike. As it all unfolded though...well, several things happened in rapid succession. The effects of the magic that had altered my consciousness wore off just after I struck out. There you stood before me, smile fading into confusion. You looked down and…” He paused, and then his voice got so quiet that Prompto had to lean forward to hear him over the diner’s background music. “Your...insides were spilling from the wound. I can still see it, clear as day. How I wish I could erase that image. I remember thinking to reach out, to touch you and use what little healing magic I possessed, but you reacted first. As if through a fog I watched in horror as you tried to push your own entrails back into your body. I screamed, whether out loud or only in my head I’m unsure, but I screamed at myself to move. And just as my body unlocked, everything goes black in my memory.”

Ignis paused to glance up at Prompto, who was leaning forward and listening in open-mouthed awe. How did he not remember this? He traced his hand along his belly under his shirt, feeling no trace of such an awful wound. His brows pinched in confusion and he fought harder to remember something,  _ anything,  _ like he had when he’d spoken to Noct earlier in the evening. But the more he fought, the more the black void seemed to encompass his mind.

Ignis went on. “Noct tells me I was struck down in that moment. He warped over and immediately administered a hi-elixir to you and a Phoenix to me. He was so quick that you never even formed a scar.” He paused to clear his throat and take a sip of coffee, letting his eyes slip closed again. “My next memory is of standing in front of you. My hands were on your waist, my thumbs tracing over the smooth skin that moments before had been a wide open wound. I looked up and into your eyes, and I remember…” Ignis’ voice cracked and he coughed lightly. “I remember seeing something I’d never seen there before, even in my most secret dreams. Your eyes, your beautiful eyes burned with so many things. Compassion, forgiveness, and something much deeper. I said your name, a thousand apologies on my lips, but my voice betrayed me and they never came.”

Once again, an ephemeral memory flashed in Prompto’s mind. A choked, desperate plea in the form of his own name. Something searing hot flashed in his chest, but like before, the sound and the feeling slipped away just as quickly as it had come, and try as he might, Prompto was unable to recall it.

Ignis opened his eyes and smiled softly, gazing into the coffee cup cradled in both hands. “You kissed me then. Right there, in the middle of calf-deep swamp water. Noct was not even three paces away, but I didn’t care. I was only dimly aware of our surroundings at the time. Every sense was full of you. It seemed to go on forever, yet it ended all-too-soon.” Ignis took a deep breath and the tension seemed to go out of his body as he released it slowly. When he continued, he met Prompto’s eyes and his tone was much lighter. “And that was that. We didn’t even really discuss it. The others made almost no comment. We were simply a couple.”

Prompto sat back heavily, a puff of air leaving him as he hit the back of the booth. “Wow.”

“Indeed.”

“I can’t believe I don’t remember any of this.” Prompto frowned, chewing on his lip as he thought. “Every time I try, it’s like the fog gets denser. Like when you open the fridge and can’t for the life of you remember why.”

“I’m sorry. That sounds difficult and frustrating.”

Prompto gave an abrupt little laugh. “I mean, it is, don’t get me wrong. But damn, Iggy. I should be the one to be comforting you. You...I can hear it. When you talk about it. Us. You...you lost something. I wouldn’t have known any of this. Wouldn’t have known what I lost. And that, has to sting.” He watched Ignis’ face as he spoke. A slight flare of the nostrils, a tightening of his jaw. The signs of upset on Ignis’ face were subtle, but he definitely had his tells if you knew where to look. And Prompto was practically a pro.

“It does,” Ignis admitted, hesitantly. “I won’t lie. It’s much akin to a break-up on my side of things. Or worse, a rewind to before.”

Prompto’s head tilted. “Before? Like, before the whole evisceration date?”

A startled laugh bubbled past Ignis’ lips. “I’m not sure I’d use those words for it, but yes. Before that day.”

Okay, but did that mean what he thought it meant? “You mean...you liked me before then?”

“Gods, yes. For years.”

“What,  _ really _ ??” That was almost unbelievable.  _ Ignis  _ had a crush on  _ him?  _ For  _ years?? _ “But I thought you hated me until like, a month into the trip,” he said. There was a gentle, sad sort of smile on Ignis’ face, and Prompto sighed. “We’ve had this conversation before, haven’t we?”

“We have, but it’s alright. That’s why we’re here.” 

The beads of condensation on Prompto’s water glass stole his attention as he thought. He wiped away the larger droplets, processing everything he’d heard so far. “You’re really brave, Iggy. You know that? You’re here just baring your soul in the back booth of a Crow’s Nest.”

“Yes well, it comes much easier the second time around.”

Prompto nodded, biting his lip. “I just wish…” he started, but Ignis cut him off.

“Let’s not wander down those paths, Prompto. The last thing I want is guilt surrounding any of this. I don’t regret a single day we spent together, and I will continue to enjoy your company in any capacity.” He gave a reassuring smile, which wrenched Prompto’s heart even more. “Now. What other questions do you have?”

_ Have we ever had sex?  _ Was the absolute first thing that came to his mind. It bounced around and bounced around as Prompto flailed about looking for something better to warm up with, drowning out his other thoughts.  _ Calm down, Prompto, damn. Grow up. Think.  _ “So...did we ever...um…”  _ Why. Why are you like this. _

Ignis took pity on him, although he did have a knowing little smirk plastered on his stupid nice face. “Yes. To a certain extent.”

“Damn. Really? How did we even find time and space for that?”

“Carefully. But you’ll recall that I  _ am  _ a strategist.” Ignis looked way too amused and self-satisfied, but Prompto let it slide.

“Damn,” he repeated, a little knot of sadness settling in his stomach.

“Is the thought distasteful to you?” Ignis asked.

Was it? Prompto thought about it, and as much as it was a little awkward to think about, and not something he considered himself interested in, he wouldn’t go so far as to call it distasteful. “No. It’s not that. It’s just...I’m kinda bummed. I basically missed all my firsts, you know? First kiss. First, uh...time.” He shrugged and fiddled with his napkin for a moment before looking back up.

Ignis was watching him curiously. “I was unaware that those were your firsts.”

“I didn’t tell you?”

Ignis simply shook his head.

“Huh. Seems unlike me.”

“It was a bit of a fast burn, to be fair. Everything was very urgent. And, of course, it was only a few weeks.” A server came by to refill their coffees and waters, and there was a pause while they waited for him to walk away. “Although, if I may be so bold as to say, I don’t personally put much stock into the significance of ‘firsts.’”

“Oh yeah? Why not?”

“Probably because my own firsts were garbage experiences, all told,” Ignis said candidly. “I was a much poorer judge of character in my teens, unfortunately. Though I did ultimately learn what signs to look for in a toxic partner. So I suppose it wasn’t a total loss.”

That made Prompto laugh. He’d never heard Ignis talk about himself like this before. It was surprising and interesting. “Well. I’m sorry you got entangled with a douche canoe who didn’t know what he had. And then got entangled with an idiot who managed to get his brains scrambled and forget what he had. You deserve a lot better, Iggy.”

Ignis smiled sadly. “Thank you, Prompto. But I assure you, you are not an idiot, and you are just as deserving of a secure, comfortable relationship.”

That made Prompto squirm uncomfortably. An outright compliment on his skills or hard work was one thing, but the idea of being  _ deserving _ of something like that was...well… _ Oh gods can we move on, think of something to say to change the subject, Prompto. _

“So, what was your favorite part? Of us, I mean.” Was that a cruel question? He probably should have run it through his emergency backup mental filter before just letting it tumble out like that. Was it a selfish question? Maybe. Probably. He supposed all of these were pretty selfish when it came down to it.

But if it bothered Ignis, he didn’t seem to show it. He hummed thoughtfully. “If I’m perfectly honest, it was the early morning hours. You’re a light sleeper, so when I would start to stir, you’d also wake. At the very beginning of my day, before everyone else was awake I’d get to hold you for a few moments before getting out of bed. You would have a lie-in for a few more minutes and then get up and help me make breakfast.”

A dull ache spread through Prompto’s chest. His heart broke for Ignis. He wanted nothing more than to suddenly feel everything he’d felt in those weeks he lost. Every searching thought came up bare. He simply didn’t feel any romantic or sexual attraction to Ignis, or any man for that matter. Sure, he could recognize a good looking guy when he saw one. And Ignis was like, probably the best all around person Prompto had ever met. Anyone could see he was incredible. But the thought of doing all those daydreamy relationship things like kissing him and winning teddy bears for him at festivals and spooning and...other stuff? That just wasn’t on Prompto’s radar. It never had been.

How then, had that changed only a month ago?

That reminded him of a thought that had struck earlier. “Okay. Here’s a weird one. And like, this is probably 99% me projecting my shit, but, are you worried that I like, faked this whole amnesia thing to get out of dating you? Because that’s 5000% what my first thought would be if this was reversed.”

Ignis laughed merrily, his eyes crinkling up in one of those genuine smiles he got on occasion. “You know, it’s strange. As I said before, I have my own insecurities surrounding romantic relationships. And given your penchant for the ladies, and the rather passionate circumstances under which our relationship started, I do have to admit that it crossed my mind. Thankfully I almost immediately recognized it as an irrational and intrusive thought. I feel I know you well enough by now to know better.”

“Okay phew. Because I swear, that’s not what’s going on.”

“I believe you.”

“Good.” He spun his water glass around and around, making shapes in the re-formed condensation as he considered whether or not to ask his next question. After a few moments he figured, what the hell. They were here to get him caught up, so may as well be caught up. “Okay, so what seemed to be my favorite part?” He brought his water up to take a nervous sip. 

“The sex,” Ignis said without hesitation. “You were insatiable.”

_ It was a really dumb idea to take a drink right before he answered,  _ Prompto thought as he snorted water up his nose and then coughed, dribbling down his shirt. It took several moments of sputtering and coughing, wiping up a small mess, and taking more sips of water before he could speak again. Ignis simply watched with a half smirk on his lips as Prompto drowned.  _ This is how I die. In a greasy fast food booth in less than a liter of water. _

“I’m not sure what I expected,” Prompto said when he could finally speak again, his voice still strained, “but I’m not really surprised. Although I  _ am _ sorry.”

“No need to be,” Ignis said lightly, amusement playing over his features.

“Was it at least, like, good? Am I even allowed to ask that?”

“Certainly,” Ignis said.

_ Nice. But,  _ “Wait. Which part were you answering?”

“I suppose that  _ was _ a bit ambiguous, wasn’t it?” Ignis feigned a look of deep thought, but didn’t bother to elaborate.

Hold on. Was Ignis flirting with him? He knew that teasing Prompto was a favorite pastime among his three friends, but Ignis did always seem to have a lighthearted, gentle way of it. Prompto had always chalked it up to a personality thing, but maybe he’d just missed it all this time. The way he teased Noct was a lot more cutting, but then again they grew up like brothers. Still…

He watched across the table as Ignis drained the last of his coffee, his features perfectly neutral.  _ Maybe  _ too  _ neutral.  _

Ignis set his cup down and checked his phone. “It’s getting a bit late. We’d best wrap this up and head back to camp. Is there anything else you’d like to know?”

“Hm. I do have one more question. But this one...it’s okay if you don’t want to answer it, okay?”

“Alright,” Ignis said, curiosity plain on his face.

“What about...the L-bomb. Did that ever come up?”

Iggy’s face relaxed and he shook his head. “No. No four letter words. Of that nature, at least,” he teased.

That was a huge relief. Somehow it felt like that was a whole other point of no return, and knowing that it hadn’t been thrown into the mix took some of the pressure off.

Prompto’s head was spinning from all the new information, but he could already feel a palpable difference in the energy between them. That overriding tension that had clung to every interaction finally dissipated, and by the time they rode back down to camp in the balmy night air, he felt downright cheery for the first time in several days. The others had already snuggled down in their sleeping bags for the night, so Ignis and Prompto quickly doused the fire and headed into the tent themselves. Prompto felt surprisingly sleepy despite the coffee and the heavy revelations. Curling himself into his sleeping bag, his last thought before he fell asleep that night was wondering if he’d ever managed to get Ignis to say any other four-letter words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to my betas [SongOfMarbule](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SongOfMarbule/pseuds/SongOfMarbule) and [Sayura21](http://sayura21.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Thanks for reading! My writing is fairly slow because I am a full time parent, but I do intend to finish this story. I appreciate you all so much!


End file.
